Nowadays celebrities are more famoys for their glamour and wealth than for their acheivements,and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#celebrities #famoys #glamour #wealth #acheivements #sets #people

Suggestion

this

present time celebrities are those persons who get popularity with their

hardwork

Suggestion

hard work

and

personality but

Accept comma addition

personality, but

some famous

person

become well known

person

for their attractiveness and prosperity rather than their attainment.In

this

eassy

an analytic or interpretive literary composition

essay

issue

I agree with the given notion since its very true that they put worse impact on youngsters's life which is not good for them. To commence with mostly all personalities become popular with their

hardwork

Suggestion

hard work

.But, some people argued that they become famous for their glamour and wealth

wherefore

where in the world

wherever

juvenile 's life is fully affected by them.Sometime numerous multitudes spent their lot of money to be like

themFor

Suggestion

them For

instance

Accept space

In Jalandher city Lovely

professional university

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professional, university

80% girls do more and more fashion so that they can look like of Kareena Kapoor.

Besides

, VIP persons use social media and upload their photos as they soon become famed and

this

thing

put

Suggestion

puts

extremely bad effect

Suggestion

an extremely bad effect

on adolescents because they become habitual of seeing their images.

Therefore in

Accept comma addition

Therefore, in

this

scenario popular persons create a bad example for

induviduals

a human being

individuals

Furthermore many

Accept comma addition

Furthermore, many

celebrities use various kinds of branded products so that they can good looking and

also

look beautiful.

This

large

Suggestion

the largest

reason why folks purchase expensive goods?

to a very great extent or degree

that they can

also

increase their

beautiness

narrowness of mind or ideas or views

pettiness

beauties

.So that's why they spend a lot of money on these things.

addition some

Accept comma addition

addition, some

famous persons become popular with their affluent not with achievements.

For

example Salman

Accept comma addition

example, Salman

khan is famous for their affluence.Nobody

see

Suggestion

sees

has seen

the struggle of him and

public

Suggestion

the public

also

think to start hard work is not necessary for getting success. Conclusion

although

famous

person

become popular with their money

Accept space

not all.

Few those

Suggestion

Those few

psrsons

a human being

persons

are known by their struggles.

Consequently they

Accept comma addition

Consequently, they

leave good effect upon the masses.So every

person

should be set their

future according

Accept comma addition

future, according

themselves not

Accept comma addition

themselves, not

by the lifestyles of famous persons.

Submitted by Rabia on Sun Jul 05 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
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4 paragraphs

291 words

5.50

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Accurate linking words

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Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famoys for their glamour and wealth than for their acheivements,and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how these problems can be tackled?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.