Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to higher position. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
‘Working hour is proportional to promotion in every
position
’. This
notorious notion have
dominated over 20 centuries, not just Change the verb form
has
only
for employers but for even employees. Rephrase
apply
However
, in this
advanced era, this
statement is fairly contraversial
. Some Correct your spelling
controversial
people
still argue that anyway If a person desires higher
level of Add an article
a higher
position
, being workaholic
is not avoidable. Meanwhile, there is Correct article usage
a workaholic
other
perspective that working hard Change the wording
another
do
not result in power all the Change the verb form
does
time
Overall
in modern
age, ambitious desire is Add an article
the modern
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflected
to
Change preposition
in
their
quantities of Change the word
the
working
, Replace the word
work
this
writing Correct word choice
and this
deal
with providing Correct subject-verb agreement
deals
opposite
perspective to the old standpoint To commence the introduction, the competitier generation from 20centuries , most of company have encouraged working overtime even some employees tend to extend their working Correct article usage
the opposite
time
voluntarily. At
some extent, Change preposition
To
this
is very
plausible notion. Some Correct article usage
a very
people
convince
that if someone Wrong verb form
are convinced
work
2 times longer the result is supposed to be 2 times higher. Change the verb form
works
However
in reality this
could not result in productive
outcome. Here is Add an article
a productive
quite
question from one Change the article
quite a
auther
. ‘If the Correct your spelling
author
another
ceo
earns Correct your spelling
CEO
the
money 500 times higher than Correct article usage
apply
another employees
, Did he work Replace the adjective
another employee
other employees
500times
more?’ The answer is strictly NO, The day consists of 24 Correct your spelling
500 times
hous
and anyone Correct your spelling
hours
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
over
24 hours. As above mentioned, there is Rephrase
apply
other
requirement for the worker aside from devoting their Change the wording
another
time
. Essential requirement, such
as ambition, persistance
, Correct your spelling
persistence
persistent
goal-oriented
mind,tidiness, initiative and so on is required Correct article usage
a goal-oriented
to
Change preposition
for
people
who desire higher
state. Correct article usage
a higher
In addition
to above
statement, just working hard is not Add an article
the above
Correct article usage
a virture
virture
of outcome. The advanced industry Correct your spelling
virtue
require
Change the verb form
requires
people
more creative and keen initiative when it comes to decision making
. Just devoting Add a hyphen
decision-making
time
is not valid
way in the complicated industry in Add an article
the valid
a valid
modern
age. Probably There are numerous Add an article
the modern
variable
to promote to Fix the agreement mistake
variables
higher
Add an article
a higher
position
. At
some extent, spending more Change preposition
To
time
will make outcome
different effect as others Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
Overall
all people
require similar working time
. When individual desires to make differentiatial
, obviously Correct word choice
a difference
the
should devote their Correct your spelling
they
time
on
spending. Change preposition
to
However
as people
already noticed, there is no sufficient time
people
handle
. Some Correct pronoun usage
handle it
people
return their
vacation and Change preposition
to their
preceed
to their Correct your spelling
proceed
working
. And from Replace the word
work
this
point, some one
mentioned that if they omit vacation it is like the Correct your spelling
someone
robort
who omitted maintenance. Correct your spelling
robot
Robert
Likewise
Add a comma
Likewise,
this
statement stress
how to take vacation properly. To reach Change the verb form
stresses
to
the conclusion, ‘Working hour is proportional to their higher promotion’ is Change preposition
apply
way
Correct article usage
a way
to
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the out
out dated
concept. There is numerous variable to reach to higher Correct your spelling
outdated
position
.Submitted by Choi Sugyeong on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite