Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Nowadays a large number of
animals
are struggling with extinction danger. It is considered by some that people and governments should take the responsibility of saving them, while
others argue that the focus of the universe should be on mankind. In my opinion, the combination of both ideas serves us with a better answer.
On the one hand, due to
global warming and excessive hunting which are fully associated with humans
, this
world is not safe for the diversity of animals
anymore. Consequently
, rulers of countries and also
individuals should take some measures in order to safeguard these creatures. Furthermore
, these creatures, not only are vitally important to maintain the ecosystem, but also
, they
guarantee the existence of Correct pronoun usage
apply
humans
for next
generation. Correct article usage
the next
For example
, honeybees enable flowers and floral
to thrive and breed Replace the word
flowers
beside
Change preposition
besides
it
, they Correct pronoun usage
that
produced
nutrition-rich honey, which is a kind of medicine for Wrong verb form
produce
humans
.
On the other hand
, not everything can be summed up around animals
. Humans
are also
struggling with a noticeable amount of troubles that demand to be taken into account. If we invest the majority of our resources in taking care of species without regard Change preposition
for
to
ourselves, we are not going to Change preposition
for
last
long enough. As a result
, human beings should also
be responsible for their surroundings to live a better life. for instance
, imagine a day that
all money Correct word choice
when
spent
on Add a missing verb
is spent
animals
and nothing remained
for Wrong verb form
remains
humans
to live which result
in the extension of not only Correct subject-verb agreement
results
humans
but also
the earth.
Finally
, I believe that if we are able to put both measures in
the same path, Change preposition
on
in other words
, the ability to take care of ourselves and animals
at the same time, will aid us in the way of protecting our earth. In conclusion, it seems that the mixture of both ideas will provide a brighter outcome than implementing the ideas individually.Submitted by iliz_sim on
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task response
You should provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and reinforce your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.