IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

“Cars enslave us rather than liberate us” Do you agree ?

#“cars #us”
Can you imagine what it must be like to live in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 air
polluted-city
Correct your spelling
polluted city
show examples
due to
car
 exhaust, and sit in a
car
, in a long, slow-moving queue of traffic when being in
hurry
Correct article usage
a hurry
show examples
 to go somewhere ? In my opinion, the idea that
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 enslave us rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 liberate us is certainly true. In the first place, in order to make a
car
 affordable,
one
 is to apply himself to his work. The main reason for
this
 is that not only are
cars
exurberant
Correct your spelling
exuberant
, but the monthly maintenance cost
also
 is not of low price.
Therefore
, if
one
 deserves a
car
, he must be assiduous in working.
Secondly
, people who own
cars
 always feel a lot of anxiety about their
cars
 being purloined or inflicted irrepairable
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
 on. With the view to attending to
this
 worry, they have to have expensive alarm systems and security cameras installed in their
cars
 and, to make
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
deteriorated
Wrong verb form
deteriorate
show examples
,
car-possessors
Correct your spelling
car possessors
show examples
 must avoid areas of the city where their
cars
 get broken into or stolen.
Furthermore
, on account of
cars
, the quality of life in the cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 steadily worsening. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
, for
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, traffic congestion all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, which causes a lot of inconvenience. What is more, owing to
cars
 discharging exhaust fumes in plenty into the environment on a daily basis,
air
Add an article
an air
the air
show examples
 of the cities is becoming contaminated.
Such
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
substandard habitat is that people could not live. There are those who argue,
on the other hand
, that
cars
 enable us to go to places freely
as well as
 avoid public transport deficiency. They point out that if
one
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to go to the coast for a holiday, there are not any vehicles that
one
 can use to arrive;
thus
,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appropriate choice for
this
 situation.
In addition
, there is often
a
Change the article
an
show examples
insuffiency
Correct your spelling
insufficiency
 of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 owing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
today’s increasing population ;
for
this
 reason, a
car
 is a reasonable replacement for
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 vehicles, especially, when
one
 is in a tearing hurry. My belief is,
nonetheless
, that these examples are of
scarity
Correct your spelling
security
scarcity
 of persuasiveness and the frustration that
cars
 cause us is still too much. Taking these points into consideration, it seems to me that
car-owners
Correct your spelling
car owners
show examples
 are constrained by
cars
 rather than
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom and advantages from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to a certain extent.
Although
 possessing a
cars
Correct the article-noun agreement
car
show examples
 has both benefits and drawbacks, have you ever wondered
that
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 its minus points outweigh its plus points ?
Submitted by Andy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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