IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

demand for food is increasing worldwide. what is the cause of this? what measure can the international community take to meet this demand?

#demand #food #measure #community
Groceries market is growing rapidly, all over the world,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 require more and more. Many factors caused
this
 issue and with no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
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 the proper measures need to be taken by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
To begin
 with, the increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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global population is one of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for
food
. It especially applies to undeveloped countries, where the amount of humans is rising the most.
This
 enormous population needs a lot of feeding sources
thus
 it has to look for
food
 anywhere.
Moreover
, the number of
people
 who waste groceries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased as well.
For instance
, rich
people
 or citizens of developing countries are throwing away nutrition without thinking of those who need it. Another cause of
food
 demand is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change.
Furthermore
, using agricultural lands for other reasons than farming and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 the ecosystem and feeding sources.
However
, authorities and the society can take steps to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the government should motivate
people
 to buy the proper amount of
food
 to avoid wasting it.
For instance
, in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 there are public refrigerators to put unnecessary products so other
people
 may take it.
Secondly
, it is significant to use the land for farming
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 other purposes like building new tourist resorts.
Thus
, the authorities need to support and fund agriculture to encourage
people
 to produce
food
. In conclusion, various measures are needed to resolve the issue of
food
 requirements in the world and
people
 are responsible
to do
Change preposition
for doing
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 it and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care of their future
Submitted by karolapatela on

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task response
The essay addresses the main points of the topic but lacks depth and clarity in supporting the main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion, however, there are areas where the logical structure could be improved for better flow and coherence.
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