The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types od nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. summarise the information by features, and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentages #meals #three #od #nutrients #summarise #information #features #feature #comparisons

The information in the pie charts shows the consumption of three kinds of nutrients in the meals of the

USA

Correct your spelling

show examples

people. The average percentage of these charts

contain

Correct subject-verb agreement

contains

show examples

sodium

, saturated fat, and added

sugar

. Eating breakfast

pays

Correct your spelling

plays

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an important role in body metabolism. Nearly 43% of

sodium

and 37% fat are in

this

meal,

while

the

sugar

used

Add a missing verb

is used

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up less than others with 23%. The American people get used to eating some snacks after breakfast. The percentages of

sodium

, fat, and

sugar

are 14%, 12%, and 42% orderly, so the consumption of

sweet

Fix the agreement mistake

sweets

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is more in

this

meal. At lunchtime, it is noticeable that

sodium

and fat are the highest percentages in

this

meal with 29% and 26%,

while

sugar

consumes 19%. Dinner contains less

sodium

(14%), fat, and

sugar

(16%) compare with other meals. Based on what

vividly

Add a missing verb

is vividly

show examples

compared, the American people must care about their eating. The high consumption of these nutrients causes an unhealthy life with different diseases in the future.

Submitted by yyy_yyy985 on Tue Sep 08 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

163 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types od nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. summarise the information by features, and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Some people say that playing computergames is bad for children in every aspect. Ohters say that palying computergames can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give youre opinion.

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.