Your friend is asking for your advice. He is going to university and can't decide whether to study music or business management. Write a letter - How you felt when you got the letter - What the good points are for both sides and - What your advice is

#friend #advice #university #study #music #business #management #points

Dear Jay, Hope

this

letter finds you in radiant health and

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

of spirits. I'm feeling really happy after receiving your letter. I am writing to let you know about my view on your university subject. Let me explain my situation, in your letter you mention that you are confused between music and business. Actually,they both have their own importance. Music is going to more popular day by day and you can learn many valuable things

Change preposition

from

show examples

it. But on another hand,

business

Add an article

the business

show examples

subject has numerous merits. In

this

,you will learn the

asic

Correct your spelling

basic

concept about marketing and it will be helpful for your future. Apart from

this

,you can easily get a job in any company after finishing

this

course. Would you kindly, think about my advice. Because business management is more beneficial for you and your future. Thank you for your consideration. Yours Lovingly, RUSHI

Submitted by rushipatel1953 on Tue Sep 15 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

145 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Your friend is asking for your advice. He is going to university and can't decide whether to study music or business management. Write a letter - How you felt when you got the letter - What the good points are for both sides and - What your advice is

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

At present, the media affects people's lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study practical skills as managing a bank account, a car maintenance, as well as academic traditional courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time Others belive that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set as good example. It is a positive or negative development?