Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is generally claimed that few people opine that arts subjects should be an incumbent part of
education
and they must be taught in schools.
However
, some people oppose the above thinking and restrict their thinking to
education
. I profoundly agree that the school syllabus must embolden students to learn creative things along with
education
. Nowadays, it is often noticed that the world is full of opportunities for people who are fascinated by creative learning. They received humongous chances to portray their talent through numerous means of social platforms and television shows.
For instance
, Youtube serves as a medium for a plethora of people to represent their talent.
Additionally
,
education
centres should foster
education
related to arts because few students find creative learning more intriguing.
Hence
, they find it easy to learn and grab things more abruptly.
Moreover
, it is
also
seen that a person when follows his interest are prone to be an eminent personality in future through his diligent nature.
Likewise
, it
also
assists people to gain fame along with reputation.
For example
, in today's world, many actors and artists are gaining more or equal popularity than those of people who are working in other sectors.
Further
, these studies
also
help them to be financially stable.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is elusive to achieve growth instantly in creative fields, sooner or later the person with an adamant passion and enthusiasm towards success will surely achieve higher growths in future.
Therefore
, organizations should help them to grow in their field of interest and show them guidance to make them strong and more focused. To conclude, institutions are the basic foundation of adopting knowledge and to identify the hidden talent in a student.
Hence
, they must be an imperative part in encouraging children to grow in creative learning and accomplish their goals to be a successful person in future.
Submitted by Asad Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • material possession
  • social experience
  • disposable income
  • tech-savvy
  • convenience
  • fashion trends
  • overconsumption
  • economic stimulation
  • retail industry
  • materialism
  • debt
  • consumer spending
  • browsing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: