Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness,but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Concerning the issue of everyone’s joy,
people
hold different views. An army of people
reckons that outside impact can affected
Change the verb form
be affected
affect
on
our cheerfulness; whilst Change preposition
apply
the
others are of the opinion each person should have Correct article usage
apply
responsibility
toward their emotions. From my perspective, both Add an article
a responsibility
qualilties
are of great significance in equal measure and Correct your spelling
qualities
i
will Change the capitalization
I
futher
elaborate in Correct your spelling
further
this
essay. On the one hand, there are several reason
why sometimes our glad are influenced by Change to a plural noun
reasons
difference
causes. Replace the word
different
Firstly
, we can change the state from anger to pleased
only Replace the word
pleasure
base
on someone else. Replace the word
based
For example
, many children at present who often annoyed and uncomfortable with scolding from their parents. However
, just through a promise to get them new toys or make juicy food,they will easier in forgetting
sad stories and maybe it give them more Change preposition
to forget
motivations
in their study process. Another good example is with a lot of travellers who have set foot in a new country for the first time, they would be attracted by beautiful landscapes and the unique culture Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
in
there. Obviously, visiting a new place can Change preposition
apply
make
us Verb problem
give
get
more diverse experiences and it Verb problem
apply
occasional
can create happy feelings for Change the word
occasionally
ourself
. Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
On the other hand
, we also
need delightedly control in a reasonable way. Namely, when people
joining
some party and alcohol Wrong verb form
join
comsumption
is essential to celebrate, they need to use it in moderation Correct your spelling
consumption
insteads
of Correct your spelling
instead
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
to
much. In Replace the word
too
other word
, they may avoid serious consequences like Change the wording
another word
other words
fight
andWrong verb form
fighting
get
drunk. Wrong verb form
getting
Moreover
,with many young people
in todays
, when they had early success, they often show disrespect to Correct your spelling
today
people
around them. This
trend need
to be changed as soon as possible to make young Change the verb form
needs
people
do
not take pride in the fun they had getting rich early. In conclusion, for what Unnecessary verb
apply
have
been mentioned above, it can be affirmed that each view has its own merits and demerits. Change the verb form
has
Thus
, it is highly recommended that happiness will be outstanding if we can take advantage and control it effectively.Submitted by phamnhung0007 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion