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Band 4.5

2.Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #country #environment #two
In
this
 era of rising industrialization and urbanization, several pupils opine that a nation can achieve economic progress and maintain a tidy
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ecosystem
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eco-system
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ecosystem
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 at the same time.
However
, another set of the population dissatisfies with
this
view-point
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viewpoint
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 as
according to
 them both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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goals are inversely related to each other.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument
along with
 my opinion on the view, followed by a reasonable conclusion. On one hand, many
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 believe that since
economical
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economic
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 success is an outcome of increased industrialization and urbanization, it will have an adverse effect on the environment.
Furthermore
, activities to support the economy
involves
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involve
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 a large amount of industrial production which
as a result
 causes environmental hazards.
For example
, air pollution is caused
due
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by
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 to emission of the factory's residual
in
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into
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 the air,
most
Correct word choice
and most
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 of the water pollution happens because of the passage of the factory's waste
in
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into
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 the rivers.
Therefore
, the compatibility of these two factors is considered to be extremely difficult.
On the other hand
, several people believe that it is not impossible to attain environmental cleanliness during the process of
economical
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economic
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 development, provided that we inculcate the aspect of
eco-safely
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eco-safe
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 from the inception of any industrial or manufacturing process. To illustrate, the usage of eco-friendly raw
material
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materials
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 should be made mandatory for any industrial production. Another way could be, to
prioritising
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prioritise
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 the adherence
of
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to
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 safety guidelines of the environment in any commercial decision and
implementing
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implement
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 fines for violation of
such
 rules.
Hence
,
by
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apply
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adapting to prioritise the health of the environment in
ones'
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one's
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 daily business can automatically result in safe
surrounding
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surroundings
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along with
 a successful economy.
To conclude
, I concur with the view that it is possible for a nation to achieve a successful
as well as
the
Correct article usage
an
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 environmentally safe economy.
Nevertheless
, it can only be reached if we take care of nature with a great focus.
Submitted by abhi on

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Extended advice
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents both views along with the writer's opinion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to better signal the structure of the essay.
Extended advice
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more substantial to improve overall coherence. Additionally, stronger transitions between ideas would enhance the cohesion of the essay.
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