Public celerbrations (such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. There are often quite expensive and some people say that government should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
Celebrating festivals is the most popular
activities
in every Fix the agreement mistake
activity
countries
around the whole world. Change to a singular noun
country
In dissimilar
societies Change preposition
Dissimilar
has
been praised Correct subject-verb agreement
have
their
pleasurable moments in non-identical ways. Celebration is a Change preposition
for their
combine
consequence of admiring, memorizing, and happiness with traditions, cultures and new trends, those Replace the word
combined
occasion
are just going on annually and not overspending the amount of money. Change the determiner
occasions
Whereas
, many peopleCorrect word choice
However
argued
that it is not worth Wrong verb form
argue
to
wasteful nation expenditures for these events. Change preposition
apply
In
Correct your spelling
An
individuals
, I wholeheartedly concur Fix the agreement mistake
individual
to
the first view and going to analyse Change preposition
with
this
problem in this
paper. The first conspicuous thing is that the number of holidays are
not only a minimal segment over 365 daysChange the verb form
is
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
having
a minimum impact on national budgets, which is not noticeable to mention as a lavish lifestyle as many people thoughtWrong verb form
has
that
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Such
as the national tourism festival is
going to be held in Vietnam in 2020 is no longer just a social Correct pronoun usage
that is
events
and cultural. That will be a golden chance to Fix the agreement mistake
event
promoting
and Wrong verb form
promote
advertising
the national tourism industry Wrong verb form
advertise
with
an international scale that will be a real bargain contributing to the national economics Change preposition
on
as well as
it is high time that the bilateral and multilateral relationship to
each other countries came back Change preposition
with
Add the particle
to tighten
tighten
and cordial. Another discernible thing is that the cultural values are significant and obvious Wrong verb form
tightened
that
should be maintained to Correct word choice
and
improving
and Wrong verb form
improve
exchanging
Wrong verb form
exchange
the
cultural identities, which Correct article usage
apply
is
not only make sense Unnecessary verb
apply
of
preserving the diversity of Change preposition
in
original
rootCorrect article usage
the original
,
but the inherit and develop Remove the comma
apply
tremendously
Rephrase
apply
the
national self-respect in every single. A typical example, only when establishing an occasion of recreation Correct article usage
apply
could
people strengthen community spirit, which Wrong verb form
can
also
building-up
moral and humane values together Verb problem
builds up
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
nation
in general and ethnic in separate Add an article
the nation
are
Verb problem
apply
gaining
more sympathy and Wrong verb form
gain
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
beneficial
to social civilization. In conclusion, it is undeniable that Replace the word
benefits
the
organizing public events Correct article usage
apply
are
playing a pivotal Correct subject-verb agreement
is
roles
in enhancing national manifestation on the global and Correct the article-noun agreement
role
bring
back overwhelming profit to national economics Wrong verb form
bringing
than
deficit spending national budget.Rephrase
rather than
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite