Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts

A part of the population

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that the funds allocated by the

government

on the arts should be spent in other areas. I totally agree with

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

people. In my opinion, the

money

given to art should be reallocated because programs

such

as education and health need improvements,

also

because the tax revenue is falling so

money

should not be wasted. The

first

reason I believe the

money

should be reallocated to other governmental programs,

such

as health care and education is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

hospitals and schools are far more important than museums and historical

builldings

Correct your spelling

buildings

In addition

, both

this programs qualities

Change to a genitive case

the qualities of this program

show examples

in the majority of countries are declining which is harmful for the population.

For example

, my mother needed

assitance

Correct your spelling

assistance

from the

government

to treat cancer since our family couldn’t afford the treatment, but the

answear

Correct your spelling

answer

was that the

government

also

couldn’t afford it,

as a result

, we ended up having to loan thousands of dollars so she could have the treatment she

deseved

Correct your spelling

deserved

. The other reason is that the tax revenue

declained

Correct your spelling

declined

drasticly

Correct your spelling

drastically

this

past year.

Therefore

, with

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

resources coming in, the people in charge should not spend any taxpayer

money

where it is not extremely necessary, like in arts. To illustrate, it is the same situation when your boss makes cuts on your income, you have to spend less

money

Verify preposition usage

show examples

cultural activities and focus on paying the essential bills

Replace the word

show examples

food and rent. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position that the

money

spent in arts should

in fact

Add the comma(s)

, in fact,

show examples

be reallocated because programs as health and education

desperatly

Correct your spelling

desperately

need improvements and there is less

money

from taxes available.

Therefore

the

government

must stop spending

money

in areas that are less important like arts.

Submitted by eduardamallmann on Thu Dec 03 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

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Write an essay about 350 words regarding the topic: The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?