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Band 8

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
It is a well-known fact that those who worked for a long time and attained the retirement age would leave their workplace and
then
 have their own leisure time.
Although
 there are some people who against
this
 tradition, I believe that it should be kept. In
this
 essay, the reason why I give an agreement, and several of my experiences will be discussed. For most people, it is no doubt to say that task is hard and difficult, at least it is not easy. By ageing, men and women get wicked physically and it could bring inefficiency of doing their task and duty in the workplace. As a sequence,
this
 phenomenon renders them get more stress than younger co-workers, and it could occur serious diseases like heart strike. One of my acquaintances who was working over retire age stroke all of sudden in the work shift time. And he had to stay for 4 months until recover. The main reason was overworking even though it was not hard for young co-workers.
Moreover
, by retiring works, the chances for youth to get a new job will be multiplied.
For instance
, in many countries are suffering from extremely high unemployment rates. The governments think that leaving a job due to reaching the retirement age can be a solution to relieve
this
 problem. Not only are the young able to get a new occupation, but
also
 the retired can enjoy their rest life without working hour. To conclude, the continuing job may be better for someone who is needed in their workplace, but I think it would be better to stop for both individual and society.
Submitted by laplaseo9007 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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