Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
are concerned about spending too much
time
on transportation to
work
, some even argue that it`s best to remove the public
parks
for
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
instead
to solve
this
issue. My view is that
this
kind of replacement will do zero good on
people
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
show examples
long
Change the article
a long
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time
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
travel to
work
. Let`s assume there were numeric apartments replaced by
parks
and gardens set up in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
already
Replace the word
all ready
show examples
to start
this
argument. These houses must be ridiculously expensive.
People
normally
Add a pronoun
who normally
show examples
lives
Change the verb form
live
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in
suburb
Add an article
a suburb
show examples
might still not able to afford it. If
,
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apply
show examples
ideally the
apartment
are
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is
show examples
managed by
government
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the government
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, authorities tend to enact a strict standard to recruit candidates for
government controlled
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government-controlled
show examples
houses. There must be a long waiting list ahead,
therefore
most of the commuters will still need to travel for a long distance.
For example
, shanghai issued
low-rent
Correct article usage
a low-rent
show examples
apartment
policy in 2012. The average rent for the same
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
at least 20% lower than
market
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the market
show examples
. Still, there are
people
waited
Correct pronoun usage
who waited
show examples
from 2012 till now and still have no clue
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
apartment
.
This
is not to say that live nearby do not have
any
Correct your spelling
many
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advantages. Stay close to the place you
work
will save precious
time
and energy that will help
people
be productive during
work
.
Moreover
, since
time
on the way is saved,
people
can balance better on life and
work
that will be
benefit
Add an article
a benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mental health.
For instance
, one of my
college
Replace the word
colleagues
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spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
nearly 6 hours on daily transportation. It`s hard for him to focus on his task
hence
got himself fired; he was frustrated after. For him, I do believe build a life near
company
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the company
show examples
will be helpful, but I still not see the necessity of tear the
parks
apart for it. In sum, replace the
parks
with accommodations will not help thereby it`s not necessary.
Therefore
, if we truly wish to resolve the issue
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could support
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
expanding
Correct article usage
the sub-center
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sub-center
Change the spelling
sub-centre
show examples
for the city or announce a statement for
people
to
work
from home. By doing so we can make sure that
people
could survive without
suffer
Change the verb form
suffering
show examples
from exhausted
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Submitted by Sue on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
What to do next:
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