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Thanks to the development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#thanks #development #science #technology #lifestyle #world
It is claimed that many
people
 have similar lifestyles worldwide because of advances in
science
 and
technology
. I completely believe that
this
 view is a positive development for
people
 for a number of reasons.
To begin
 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a couple of cultural and social effects on those who have the same habits. Primarily, the more
science
 and
technology
 are developed, the more individuals prefer to do the same thing in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, which provides a fusion of cultures for many.
That is
 to say, buying the same thing connects
people
’s
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 easily and
people
 can adopt other cultures with ease. Equally importantly, a similar lifestyle
provides
Verb problem
allows
show examples
people
 to understand each other;
therefore
,
people
 can make friends easily around the world.
For instance
, social media entered our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 via technological development, and the internet made it easy to communicate with others;
thus
,
people
 are able to become more and more social. Apart from what has been said earlier, there is a range of financial factors to argue the benefits of having a similar life. The prime factor is that consuming the same product contributes to increasing the cost of goods, which makes products more affordable for those who have similar habits. Put simply, the more
people
 consume the same products, the more products become more affordable. A
further
 factor is that the physical appearance of
people
 is the same because of buying the same clothes. It means
people
 have the same dressing style, which makes socioeconomic status ununderstood. Take some countries, which have different nations who have similar lifestyles, as a clear example; had not
technology
 and
science
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed, they would not have lived together. In conclusion,
although
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 and
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 advancement bring some negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals, I do believe that these developments provide
people
 with a variety of cultural, social, and financial effects.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the positive development of similar lifestyles due to science and technology. However, the development of ideas could be improved to provide a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported with relevant examples. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner to enhance the flow of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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