The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government should reflect this . To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicines #government

Health

is the state of complete harmony of

body

Correct article usage

the body

show examples

definitely

Add a comma

,definitely

show examples

prevention is better than cure.A healthy body reveals a healthy mind.I completely agree with the statement as well as the

government

authorities must invest in

health

care.

This

essay will discuss how authorities can help to prevent disease.

To begin

with,every person deserves a healthy lifestyle.,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

,Unfortunately

show examples

this

is literally rarely happening in our community due to pollution,contaminated cities and overcrowding.Most

people

are following

the

Correct article usage

show examples

unhygienic lifestyle it will lead to many

health

issues,especially in children.

For instance

, in many underdeveloped countries

such

as Nigeria, children are prone to get deadly diseases because of their poor infrastructure and poverty.

Government

has to provide financial investment to improve the living standard of

people

in their country.Authorities should provide a free home with basic facilities.

Moreover

,every individual should get a nutritious diet from the

government

Furthermore

health

education is an important aspect of preventing illness.Especially in

this

covid-19 season,

people

should be aware of wearing a mask and cleaning their hands from time to time by demonstration or keeping posters in the village.Because

this

is a new situation in folks life,even well-educated

people

are getting infected with coronavirus

then

what more the illiterate

people

.Educating

people

with adequate facilities which is soap and water,mask,gloves and so forth,

this

is the responsibility of

government

.All these preventing measures can control many

health

issues as well as deaths in the population. To conclude,these can be provided only by the

government

.It is impossible to implement by the individual because it needs economical investment.Underprivileged nations are getting financial support from rich countries.In my ,opinion

this

amount to be invested for the needy

people

Submitted by margushobi on Fri Apr 02 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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