IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case.Do you think it is a positive or negative situation.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
nowadays, most
people
 prefer to have a
home
instead
 of renting a
home
, and
this
 has become one of the most important needs of families. I believe, there are some reasons for
this
, and I think it would be a positive situation for
people
. In many undeveloped countries, the
price
 of essential needs is rising which have caused many problems for individuals. Accommodation is one of the important needs of human, and they must be worried about the
price
 of homes. Because the salary of most
people
 saw an eligible growth compared to the growth of the
price
 of homes.
Therefore
, if
people
 buy a proper
home
, they will survive of financial recession, and the
price
 of their
home
 will increase if a financial recession occurs in the future. so, we can consider
this
 situation as a long-term investment. In my opinion, owning a
home
 would be positive for
people
 compared to renting one.
Firstly
, with buying a
home
,
people
 can save their money
instead
 of spending their salary on a month-to-month lease. So, they can invest
this
 money in other parts like buying stocks.
Secondly
, individuals would not be worried
Change preposition
about for
show examples
for
Change the preposition
about
show examples
 searching a new
home
 when their contract is over with the owner of the
home
. Finding a new
home
 and moving the furniture to a new place is an overwhelming process for everybody.
As a result
, staying in a fixed place provides convenience for
people
. in conclusion, I believe owning a
home
 would be a positive condition for us
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if we consider it as an investment and living there for a long time.
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: