IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some country, people have to find work abroad. They have to move from family and friends. Do you think benefits outweigh disadvantages.

#country #people #work #move #friends
In the contemporary era, there is an argument over an issue that in certain nations , individuals migrate to a plethora of foreign country to find work , but they have to leave
theirs
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their
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 homes as well as their close ones. Despite
of
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apply
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having certain merits of
this
 trend,
demirits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 clearly outweigh its advantages. On one hand , the masses get the opportunities to learn
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
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 and traditions of other countries. To elaborate it, if any person
immigrate
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immigrates
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to
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apply
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abroad to do jobs , it will play a tremendous role in their life. Due to
this
 , they met various local citizens and it is extremely easy for them to learn their culture and traditions.
For example
, the headline in 'Moscow Time ' revealed that every year Indians move
to
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apply
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abroad for
an altruistic jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
an altruistic job
altruistic jobs
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 aid them to know their rituals.
Hence
, moving to any foreign nation for a person plays a crucial role.
On the other hand
 , the folks have to face
from
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apply
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mental health issues. To elaborate it, since the trend of
immigrate
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immigrating
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 to any country has rocketed, individuals have to suffer from loneliness
like
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apply
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problem and
this
 paves the way to
the
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apply
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depression, anxiety, tension and so on .
For instance
, according to the survey by 'WHO
Add a comma
,
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' the French citizens maximum suffer from these mental problems because they cannot leave their family.
Although
 migrate to abroad has benefits , disadvantages
of
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cannot be neglected. To conclude, even though immigration to
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
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 country assists individuals to learn their rituals,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 of
this
 trend clearly surpasses its merits.
Submitted by Ganga Singh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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