Some countries encourage teenagers to have part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.

In our overall live period, being a teenager might be the most
excited
Replace the word
exciting
show examples
part. Though, many
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that teenager should spend their spare in useful ways like doing a part-time job, while, other believes that
children
should concentrate on studies.
Accordingly
,
this
disquistion
Correct your spelling
disquisition
delves into both vantage points,
subsequently
, will explore my own opinion, in turn. On the one hand, the contenders of the context that states that teenagers should work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part-time, be absolutely right? Certainly, because at that stage of
age
, through
temprory
Correct your spelling
temporary
they can attain some fund or even improve their skills based on their own interest.
For example
, in countries like India, parents encourage their
children
to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
shops or business during school holidays, so that they can
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
lean
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
skills related to the family's source of income.
As a result
, at that young
age
, awareness and new ideas to improvise the business will prevail among youngsters which perhaps lead them to become successful.
Therefore
, indulging youngsters
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
temproary
Correct your spelling
temporary
works is highly advantageous.
On the other hand
, some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that an individual at
teen
Correct your spelling
teenage
show examples
age
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
should
be only concentrate
Change the verb form
be only concentrating
be only concentrated
show examples
on
adcademics
Correct your spelling
academics
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
on
odd-jobs
Correct your spelling
odd jobs
show examples
.
In addition
, no one can guarantee that
children
might like that part-time work,
also
, as a consequence,
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
of losing
interet
Correct your spelling
internet
interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education is
also
a
predomienet
Correct your spelling
predominant
concren
Correct your spelling
concern
.
For instance
, according to a survey conducted by the Chronicle-journal in 2014, the literacy rate is very low, as
children
often prefer to be involved in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
business rather
go
Change preposition
than go
show examples
to school. Ergo, teenagers should concentrate on their academics until they finish their studies. To conclude, I reiterate that afterall going to
temproary
Correct your spelling
temporary
temporarily
jobs
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
that relatively younger
age
Correct your spelling
doesn't
dosen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
show examples
seem to be
valid
Add an article
a valid
show examples
point. Personally,
Children
can indulge themselves
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
any
odd-jobs
Correct your spelling
odd jobs
show examples
if they want to, but at
this
same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
they mustn't lose
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
love for studies. Because without educational knowledge we cannot compete with
this
competitive world.
Submitted by richvinleon00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: