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Band 4

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty.What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?

#countries #gap #skills #people #age #fifty #minimise
Nowadays, we know how
medicine
 is fundamental ,due
also
 to the situation we are living
.
Change preposition
in .
show examples
Medicine
 can be related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society ,with all the lifestyle
problems
 that can take in every country of the world
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 different levels .
Although
 the availability
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
medicine
 is improving ,unfortunately in some
countries
 is the opposite.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 towns ,more specifically ,the poorest ones,
such
 as Africa ,don’t have the possibility to be cured in Hospitals, because there are not enough or there are only far from where they live . I think that in all the world there is an imbalance between rich snd poor
countries
 but
also
 that a considerable impact between public and private
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
 services is a really strong question that governments have to debate on . The problem in the
lifestyle -related
Add a hyphen
lifestyle-related
show examples
 health
problems
 in the poor
countries
, is just the possibility that there are not a lot of services or doctors able to cure all the issues and especially the prices are really high and most of the inhabitants are not in a position to pay the medical
problems
 . I think that
this
 is really a big problem ,because ,as I said before ,there is a strong difference and the poor
countries
 can do nothing against
problems
 because there
aren’t
Change the verb form
isn’t
show examples
enough money . To improve the situation I think that the rich States have to contribute and create new places to cure health
problems
 ,especially for babies that mostly
dies
Change the verb form
die
show examples
 after birth because of bad conditions
such
 as hunger or thirst . I know
that is
 really difficult to do and easy to say , but I hope that one day
this
 inequality will reduce soon and the access to
medicine
 will be available for every country in the world and the rich one understand how important are the words , donation , humanity and health .
Submitted by silyakar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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