IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
We live in an age when the percentage of crime has been increasing annually.
Although
,
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apply
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many people believe that there are a lot of causes that affect the number of
crimes
, it could be reduced and controlled.
This
 essay will support
this
 view and many reasons and solutions will be explained in the following paragraphs. In the first place, there are many reasons that increase the rate of
crimes
. One reason behind
this
 is the psychological issues that might lead some people to do things without any consideration.
For example
, living with divorced parents or unstable families could drive children or teenagers to be violets. Another reason is poverty.
This
 could
be
Verb problem
have
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 a major effect on the crime rate because I believe a lot of people who try to steal houses, money or valuable property, tend to kill others to hide their practices.
Moreover
, teenagers and children, who play games
such
 as war or fighting, are more likely to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in criminal activities.
On the other hand
, many solutions could limit the number of
crimes
. One way is to activate the role of government, institutions, hospitals, and families.
For instance
, teachers in Schools should educate the students about the danger of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime and what are the consequences of doing
such
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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activities.
In addition
, hospitals should
make
Verb problem
conduct
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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blood
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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to
Change preposition
on
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 their patients to check they didn’t get any drugs. In conclusion, I would like to close
this
 question by assessing that in spite of the high rate of
crimes
, some solutions might be valid to overcome or decline
this
 percentage. community should work as one hand to solve
this
 issue.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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