IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #children #parents #courses
It is advisable that
parents
 should be encouraged to take part in parenting
courses
 which are an effective method for their
children
's development. From my perspective, while taking these
courses
 could bring numerous benefits, I would argue that it is better for
parents
 to nurture their
children
 by themselves. Admittedly, there are some reasonable reasons as to why taking parenting
courses
cause
Add the particle
to cause
show examples
 many positive consequences.
To begin
 with,
parents
 would have thorough preparations for having a baby.
In other words
,
parents
 are equipped with
ready
Add an article
the ready
a ready
show examples
 mentality and
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 nurturing skills.
Moreover
,
parents
 are more likely to have the right behaviours for each stage of their
children
's development, especially teenagers. A typical example of
this
 is that when a child disobeys or lies,
parents
 will not punish them with physical punishments but will opt for more works or taking
awar
Correct your spelling
away
 some privileges.
This
 means that
children
 have to do more
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 and their
parents
 could set
Add an article
a limit
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
 to recreation activities or reduce pocket money.
On the other hand
, I am of opinion that taking parenting
courses
 brings more significant detrimental effects.
First
 and foremost, each child will have a unique personality. It means that
parents
 could not apply a particular method for all
children
.
Last
 but not least, many
parents
 have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 experience thanks to raising
first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
show examples
children
. To be specific, it is not too difficult for them to take care of the
next
 kids. In conclusion, I believe that it is a good way for
parents
 to nurture their
children
 naturally without taking any parenting
courses
.
Submitted by Hoài Nhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: