Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise, while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #food #companies #right

The development of technology devices

such

computers

lead to an increase in the number of children makes use of it.

Although

there is an argument that spending most of the time on

computers

can pose a detrimental impact on

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

, I strongly believe that it is beneficial and no harmful to

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

. I will thoroughly present my view in the following part.

First

of all, it is undeniable that the merits of

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

provide for

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

are really enormous. As a high-tech tool,

computers

can bring an ideal education atmosphere for

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

For example

,they easily do some research about some particular things which are still mysterious

Moreover

, children can find more intriguing videos on youtube or any kind of entertainment website which help them expand their own knowledge horizon in

this

little world.

In addition

, the variety of sources on the internet is

also

a useful weapon for them especially for those who are eager to explore the unknown on

this

planet. It is widely proved and accepted by both parents and teachers

On the other hand

, the negative effect of

computers

is something unavoidable. Most

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children spend their time playing

computer

games or watching movies on the internet which lead to some bad consequences

such

as lose interest in the study and they can easily get disease-related optical problems.

Furthermore

, they can

also

lose their interaction and connection with their family members, friends and some other close-knit relationships. Using the

computer

for many hours can

also

affect both physical and mental issues which cause some negative repercussions in a long run. In conclusion, there are always both sides to every problem in

this

world and using a

computer

is not an unacceptance.

However

, from my view, I always believe that the merits of a

computer

outweigh its demerits.

Submitted by hieudang.jeff2108 on Thu Jul 15 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise, while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.