Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believes that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, it is believed by some part of
a
Correct article usage
the
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population that it is crucial for a successful
career
to finish university or
college
while
others claim that it is more beneficial to get a job straight after
school
.
To begin
with, on the one hand, the main reason why university education is important is that it allows people to get appropriate knowledge about a subject they are fond of.
This
is significant not only because graduates will have a knowledge base to start practice at work but,
moreover
Rephrase
also
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
because they
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may reconsider their preferences and
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
another field of work.
Therefore
, a
college
is a tool that not only teaches its learners but
also
gives them some time to find themselves.
For example
, recent research conducted in Ukraine has shown that more than 80% of those who have graduated from high-education institutions got a well-paid job.
However
,
on the other hand
, the major cause why it is better to start working straight after finishing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
is the fact that some majors are easier to learn by practice rather than by learning theory.
This
is
due to
the fact that not only are there some professions that are difficult to learn
reading
Change preposition
by reading
show examples
books but
also
some professions, like artists or painters, that do not require a
college
diploma.
Hence
, if a person wants to open their own business the best option for them may be to start trying and making a lot of attempts straight after
school
.
For instance
, some researchers consider that more than 40% of successful entrepreneurs have not finished a high education but they are still among the richest businessmen in the world. Eventually,
to conclude
, on the one side, it is better for humans to spend time studying at the university because it provides them with an appropriate knowledge base in the subject they are going to explore
further
during their
career
, but on the other side, it may be more useful for students to get a job straight after
school
in order to acquire experience and start their
career
earlier. In my opinion,
college
is an integral part of humans’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
since it allows them to learn and develop their skills that, in turn, will make them more prepared for a successful
career
.
Submitted by veronika-glinka on

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style
Avoid using redundant phrases such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' repetitively. Try introducing variety in your phrases to make your writing more engaging.
grammatical
Be careful with your use of verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'others believes' should be 'others believe'.
structure
Use a variety of linking words/phrases to show contrast, cause and result, and comparison. This will improve the overall cohesion and coherence of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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