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Band 7

Opinion In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, or animal products for clothing and medicine, for example. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#world #animals #food #products #medicine
Nowadays a majority of the community believes that consuming
animals
' meat and other animal
products
 should be stopped.
However
, I reckon in some cases like using
animals
 for food should be limited
also
 in some other cases some alternatives must replace animal
products
.
In particular
, these days sometimes
people
 misuse
animals
' meat and dairy which is caused some diseases like heart attack and being overweight.
Accordingly
, the demands for meat and
such
 like
products
 have increased.
As a result
, the number of livestock should increase which requires enormous agricultural lands to fulfil
this
 need,
this
 attempt can have bad consequences like farmland degradation.
Thus
,
people
 should add some substitutes like soy or beans which have the same nutritious benefits. Apart from that, using animal
products
 should be completely eliminated the extraordinary developments in science.
People
 can replace fur clothes with cotton and high-quality viscose fabrics.
Moreover
, some myths had been spread in the past that some specific
animals
' horn has medical uses there individuals hunt
animals
 cruelly for only
this
 purpose.
Therefore
, the government should impose some laws against these
people
 and avoid
this
 horrible tradition.
In addition
 to
this
, some other fashion companies have spread some trendy dresses that are designed from fox's fur,
hence
, some institutions trap foxes in cages and raise them for only their skin which is terrible and must be prevented. To conclude, even though humans can use
animals
 for food decently
on the other hand
 they should consider some substitutes in other areas that are using animal
products
 like the clothing industry or medical areas.
Submitted by jared-100 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical consumption
  • sustainability
  • veganism
  • synthetic alternatives
  • bioengineering
  • animal welfare
  • culturally ingrained
  • biodiversity
  • a shift in paradigm
  • intensive farming
  • environmental footprint
  • plant-based
  • animal testing
  • cruelty-free
  • conservation efforts
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