IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#minutes #topic #television #violence #children #programs #scenes
The
majority
 of people believes that the violent
content
 in
TV
 shows is the primary reason for aggression in school children. To some ,extent I believe
such
content
 should be banned from a program broadcasted for a young audience. In the following, paragraph I will explain the reason for the above mention notion.
Firstly
,
TV
 shows with brutal
content
 should be banned for the youth, as they increase the aggressiveness among the school children.
Secondly
, horror and action movies with fighting
content
 always provoke the young audience to perform the stunt.
For instance
, due to the Wrestling World Cup youngsters has viewed the action shows,
hence
 they ended up imitating the same in the residential society;
therefore
,the
majority
 of them suffered fractures on their hands.
On the other hand
, the same
tv
 shows are viewed by a
majority
 of
kids
 but all are not aggressive in nature;
thus
,
TV
 shows are not the major factor of violence among the
kids
.
In addition
, children with a positive attitude are not impacted by happening in surroundings they understand the impact of
content
 in shows and don't try to copy the action scenes.
Thirdly
, youth were violent even before the
TV
 was invented. According to the studies, one of the major sources of violence is illiteracy, as the
majority
 of junivile in the US prison are illiterate. In conclusion, it is clear from the above examples that illiteracy is the key factor for violence among
kids
.
Consequently
, while banning cruel
content
 on a
TV
 channel , the government should take initiative to promote education among
kids
.
Submitted by rahulbhajji on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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