Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People
have various views about whether young people
would be benefiticial
from the real experience of Correct your spelling
beneficial
ex-criminals
. They might prevent teenagers from committing a crime
, while I, personally, disagree with the idea.
It can be argued that ex-criminals
could be the best people
to help young students to
get rid of crimes. They could give young students a warning through their own stories and real experience, and Fix the infinitive
apply
children
could learn the bored but serious criminal knowledge in a more vivid way. However
, such
education might have a detrimental impact on young people
. The adolescents
might go astrayCorrect article usage
Adolescents
,
if they have no ability to distinguish right from wrong. Students might be too naive to tell the right from wrong, and they might be curious about the bad Remove the comma
apply
behaviors
that Change the spelling
behaviours
ex-criminals
have done, and they are likely to mimic them, so they might commit a crime
by accident.
In my opinion, I would argue against the idea that teenagers talk to ex-criminals
in order to prevent themselves from committing crimes. There are a variety of methods that we could take to reduce the criminal
rates. Replace the word
crime
Firstly
, parents and teachers tend to be responsible for teaching children
not to be against the law
. It is more important for children
to acquire knowledge of law
in their daily lives. It will be too late to teach Add an article
the law
children
when they have already committed a crime
. Secondly
, nowadays, it is impossible for young people
to enjoy life without mass media. Young
generation has access to receive more relevant information through television programs or social media platforms, and these media could promote more positive news rather than violent information. Add an article
The young
This
could lead to a decreasing the rate of crime
of juvenile people
. Finally
, some sport
stars and super idols should and have responsibilities to set a positive example for their young fans.
In conclusion, I do not Change the noun form
sports
agree
the view that young teenagers learn Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
law
knowledge from real cases of ex-criminals
. All of
Change preposition
apply
governments
, schools and parents could make a contribution to stop Add an article
the governments
young
generation to behave against the Correct article usage
the young
law
.Submitted by kongchenchen522 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite