The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the

health

care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more

sport

and exercise in

schools

. In my opinion, I completely agree that

this

is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public

health

in relation to weight.

Firstly

, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more

sport

and exercise in

schools

This

method will ensure that the

generation will be healthier and will not have

such

health

problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does

sport

possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their

otherwise

sedentary lifestyle.

However

, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for

children

schools

will probably result in

children

developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a

longer lasting

Add a hyphen

longer-lasting

show examples

effect.

In other words

, parents with sporty

children

are more likely to get involved in

sport

Add an article

the sport

show examples

as a way of encouraging their

children

. By both parents and

children

being involved, it will ensure that

children

grow up to incorporate

sport

into their daily lives.

This

is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public

health

. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing

sport

schools

is the easiest and most effective method to use.

Submitted by 564gogadzizel on Mon Aug 23 2021

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

People are staying more and more at home, these days. What are the causes and effects.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all the shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

International tourism has become more popular in recent decades. However, this can have a considerable impact on the countries which attract large numbers of visitors. What positive and negative effects does tourism have on countries which are popular destinations?