IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The only reason people work hard is to earn more money. There are no other reasons to do it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#reason #people #work #money
Earning money is an indispensable part of leading a prosperous life. It is often believed that the driving force behind working diligently is to gain more financial prospects. I disagree with
this
 statement to a great extent and in
this
 essay, I will explain the reasons behind
this
 with pertinent examples.
To begin
 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a number of professions which are chosen by people because they are passionate about it. People remain glued to their jobs even if they earn less.
For instance
, painters have gained popularity only in recent times and earlier individuals used to opt for these domains as they had job satisfaction and enthusiasm for their work.
This
 is
also
 applicable in the contemporary world.
Hence
, love for the profession is
also
 a reason behind hard work.
Moreover
, many people continue to strive hard even if they are millionaires. They develop a daily regime over time. They continue to remain active in their fields to maintain the decorum of their life.
For instance
, Ratan Tata is a millionaire, even if he stops working, he will have enough to lead a prosperous life but he chooses to stay in his line of work as he has become habitual of it.
However
, there is no denying that money is significant to fulfil the basic necessities including food, clothes and shelter. If one wishes to have all the luxuries and high standards, he might have to put tremendous effort into working overtime to obtain more cash.
To conclude
,
although
 possessing more financial prospects is necessary to lead a meaningful existence,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is not the main cause of working vigorously.
Therefore
, we cannot state it solely accountable for hard labour.
Submitted by sksandhu84 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

development
Provide more specific examples and elaboration of ideas to strengthen your arguments.
organization
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that logically follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: