IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

More people than ever before are travelling to other countries now. Is it positive or negative development?

#people #countries #development
Life
 is getting a little bit more hectic and
people
 are constantly under an enormous amount of stress. Now, with technological advancements, it is more common than ever that
people
 are travelling to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
countries
. From my point of view, I think
this
 development is totally positive. On the one hand, travelling to other
countries
 can benefit
people
 in several significant ways.
First
 and foremost, travelling allows
people
 to experience different cultures and enrich their knowledge which can help them in
life
. They will get more opportunities to meet different
people
 from different parts of the world. The more time tourists spend with local inhabitants, the more knowledge about the way of
life
 and habits as well as
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 language they will learn.
Secondly
, a number of
people
 decide to go on a trip
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another nation so that they can visit relatives or family members who live overseas. Video calls or photos only help them see each other's
face
Fix the agreement mistake
faces
show examples
 without holding hands or hugging, and
therefore
, they desire to travel abroad so as to meet their beloved
people
.
On the other hand
,
tourism
 may bring about great positive effects on society.
Firstly
, travelling can sustainably promote the national economy in many fields.
This
 is because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 some
countries
,
tourism
 has become one of the most important parts of the economy. With a number of travellers coming to the country, the demand for accommodation and food here will grow, so local
people
 can earn a great amount of money through providing shelters and selling their traditional cuisines.
Secondly
, the
tourism
 industry has created thousands of jobs.
People
 have started picking up careers in the sector of
tourism
such
 as workers in travel agencies, taxi drivers or tour guides, to serve the great number of international tourists. Thanks to the development of
this
 industry, many local residents have escaped poverty, avoided unemployment and enjoyed a better quality of
life
. In conclusion,
people
 these days travel to foreign
countries
 in order to acquire new knowledge and see one another. In my opinion,
this
 development is positive due to its various social benefits.
Submitted by lekhanhhoa1208 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • economic contributor
  • environmental impact
  • cultural erosion
  • infrastructure
  • overtourism
  • global perspective
  • socio-economic implications
  • career opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: