More adults work from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#adults #work #home #computer #technology #development

The advanced technology of computer make it possible for people with access to the internet to

work

from residence becomes affordable and convenient. I agree that

this

trend has various benefits.

However

, some demerits

also

should be taken into consideration. As far as I am concerned, there are two main merits of

work

from

home

. On the one hand, people do not need to face commute stress as they can now easily complete their

work

by accessing the internet.

As a result

, workers can spend more hours working

instead

of wasting time commuting. Meanwhile,

stuck

Add a missing verb

being stuck

show examples

in a traffic jam produces pressure and anxiety on the brain, which could

harmful

Add a missing verb

be harmful

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

both mental and physical health.

On the other hand

this

phenomenon

also

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

with flexible schedules, which means that individuals can make their schemes as long as their works are complete and lead to

satisfied

Replace the word

satisfying

show examples

outcomes.

On the contrary

this

trend has some disadvantages to grownup.

Firstly

, not being able to

work

with fellow employees with a common goal and purpose, the staff working from

home

would lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

their motivation.

This

is because man is by nature a social

animals

Correct the article-noun agreement

animal

show examples

therefore

, working with a team can positively affect their productivity and efficiency.

Moreover

, keeping concentration is a huge challenge for remote employees as

Add an article

a distraction

show examples

distraction

Fix the agreement mistake

distractions

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could continue to occur

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show examples

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

For example

, pets, video games, smartphones or family members can easily divert their attention.

Consequently

, individuals could take longer to finish the task at

home

than

work

at the office. In a nutshell, I believe the developed computer technology produces multiple advancements for remote employees.

However

, a few negative developments should be taken

account

Change preposition

into account

show examples

Submitted by lfcheng0519 on Sun Sep 12 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

telecommuting
remote work
flexible hours
work-life balance
commuting
carbon footprint
social isolation
digital divide
self-discipline
time management
company culture
employee engagement
sustainable work practices
collaborative tools

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More adults work from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

Some people believe that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. To what extent do you agree?

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.