IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Although some people value public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever- growing population or to develop business or boost economies. To what extent do you agree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purposes #areas #ever- #population #business #economies
In cities,
parks
 are the only common
place
 where people have to chill out.
Moreover
, the
trees
 in the
parks
 offer shelter to birds. If
this
 area is replaced for construction purposes it can lead to serious environmental issues. So, I strongly disagree with the opinion of demolishing the public
parks
.
This
 essay will examine the topic in detail with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the public
parks
 assist to maintain the bonding within the population. To elaborate, in metropolitan areas humans live in apartments and have no contact even with neighbours, because of a busy life.
However
, during leisure activities in the
parks
, they get time to know each other and build relationships.
Besides
this
, old age groups are considering
this
place
 as a relaxation area
also
. To exemplify, a study conducted by Punjab University, India proved that depression after 60 years is due to loneliness. To elaborate,
parks
 are the best
place
 for individuals to enjoy some stress-free time. To continue with,
parks
 helps to maintain the ecosystem. In towns, due to the insufficiency of lands, there will not be any empty places to plant
trees
 except in the
parks
.
In addition
, the birds use these
trees
 to take shelter. Along with these,
this
also
 provides shadow to human beings.
Moreover
, the
trees
 help to purify the air and release pure oxygen. To summarize, not only for humans but, the
parks
also
 serve good for birds too.
Finally
, having public
parks
 in congested cities are essential to provide a special
place
 for humans to spend some quality time with friends and families.
However
,
this
 is
also
 good for environmental protection. So, by considering all the above-mentioned points, I strongly disagree with the view of replacing the
parks
 for building residents for the population.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: