Many Offenders Commit More Crimes After Serving The First Punishment

A large number of
criminals
who serve their
first
prison
sentence, leave
prison
only to re-offend.
This
is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions that should be implemented to deal with
criminals
who re-offend.
Firstly
, the reason for most
first
-time
offenders
committing crimes again, once they have been released from
prison
, is due to the lack of rehabilitation whilst in
prison
.
In other words
,
offenders
are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and
instead
mix with other
criminals
, which only strengthens their criminal intentions.
Secondly
, repeat offending is
also
owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released.
As a result
, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences. There are two elective solutions to the problem of repeat
offenders
. One way to tackle
this
is to ensure that all
criminals
entering
prison
are given the chance to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing
this
, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with
criminals
who re-offend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society.
This
solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched. In conclusion, having training in
prison
and
also
close observation when
first time
Add a hyphen
first-time
show examples
offenders
are released
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
effective in dealing with the issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.
Submitted by nalindaliyanage on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: