Advertising that targets children should be banned from our televisions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that ads that target younger should be restricted on

Correct your spelling

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This

essay totally agrees with

this

statement because children become demanding and if their wishes are not fulfilled, they become stubborn. The primary reason for not allowing

such

ads is because of

children

Change noun form

children's

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unnecessary demands. Food companies promote their products glamorously regardless of their quality which is good or not. These items make kids tempting because of their huge attraction.

As a result

, they will only prefer those seen items.

For example

, Horlicks and Bounvita show that consuming their products boosts their immunity and increases the height of adolescents which is not the real truth. Another reason for not permitting is

because

Correct word choice

that

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kids will have toughness in their nature. Some companies publish their products

such

as games, and toys. Many infants have enough of them.

However

, after watching commercials on

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, they will ask more from their parents. If those are not provided to them, they will become aggressive and angry.

As a result

, these habits create a huge impact negative side in the longer run.

For example

, if

Pubg

Correct article usage

a Pubg

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Play station

Correct your spelling

PlayStation

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game is seen by them on the

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, they will please their elders and if it is not given,

then

they start shouting and crying which makes them bad in behaviour. In conclusion, increasing

Change preposition

apply

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children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

demand for unrealistic items and their misbehaviour can cause issues that are not a good sign in later stages for them.

Therefore

, I believe it should be prohibited those ads which harm kids.

Submitted by rishu1210 on Fri Oct 01 2021

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task response

Ensure that you address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear stance on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, and use cohesive devices to connect your thoughts.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advertising that targets children should be banned from our televisions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Government should allow students to pay fee after graduation or it should be free education? which one is best?

option A : constructing gym Option B: constructing bicycles lane

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?