IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some parts of the world, it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development?

#parts #world #research #history #one’s #people #development
Researching and exploring one’s own family history has become increasingly popular in numerous countries. There might be various reasons why people would want it as it would help them to trace back their origins and the traits that have been passed on from one generation to the next. It is beneficial development as it can help define people’s future.
Firstly
, people might be interested
to trace
Change preposition
in tracing
show examples
 back any common trends that they share with the previous generation. Especially for
there
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 with uncommon interests, some special skills that would have been passed on from the past.
For example
, if they have any skills
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 hereditary, it would be interesting for them to know that they have been shared from the past. Another reason could be just a general curiosity to learn about their geographical origins.
For instance
, someone who has moved
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
 many years earlier and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 adapted to the culture of the new country, the younger generation would be interested to learn about their geographical origins and its culture.
This
 would make them feel connected to their role. I believe that it is a positive development. It might be difficult for some people to find a direction in
life
 and feel dislocated from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Knowledge about their past might reignite their
life
 with a new spark.
For example
, someone who has to make a different choice in
life
 but is hesitant to do so, knowing that they share
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interest from the past would help them to make a strong move in
life
. In conclusion, many would have their own reasons to explore their past generations, but it will benefit them to find a proper future ahead.
Submitted by jubee.varghese on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Improve the organization of ideas to better address the task question and provide clear, comprehensive ideas. Use more specific examples to support the points made in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical structure and organization of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use appropriate transition words and cohesive devices to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: