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Band 4

<<Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary>>

#<<big #salary #job #satisfaction #necessary>>
Many people claim that it is more important to have an occupation with a high income whether the
job
 is appealing and makes you happy or not. I completely disagree whit
this
 statement and
this
 essay will argue why having a
job
 that you enjoy is much more important than a high income with no
job
satisfaction
.
First
 of all, having a
job
 that makes you happy and satisfied will eventually lead to carrier growth,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 many researchers are investigating the function of the body and lethal disease and looking for a cure, even though they are not getting paid equal to what they are doing but their passion about their
job
 allows them to acquire so many science
achievement
Change to a plural noun
achievements
show examples
 regardless of their downward income,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
 they didn’t put the money
first
 and
instead
, they choose to have a sense of satisfactory whit their
job
.
Secondly
, I believe that
job
satisfaction
 gives people a huge sense of happiness that no money can guarantee, even if someone is earning so much money but feels tensed and compromised with his conscience that person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of
satisfaction
.
In other words
, there is a strong correlation between
job
satisfaction
 and productivity. People who love their
job
 can easily excel in their fields of work and obtain better
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 compared to those who put
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low salary
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a long-term perspective.
Submitted by MOHAMMADASADI711 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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