Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some claim that international
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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events like
football
Correct article usage
the football

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World cup are crucial to ease tension between
countries
and soften nationalist emotions in a safe way. I mostly agree with
this
statement. I believe that international debates are merely political
problems
and ordinary
people
should not take
serious
Replace the word
seriously

The word serious doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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this
Correct determiner usage
these

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issues. Because, national conflicts may cause serious damages from some trade bans to wars
,
Remove the comma
apply

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if citizens support
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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conflicts. Unknown
problems
are prone to get bigger and
countries
may become enemies for nothing. What the solution is to ease the tension between
countries
is to face
the
Correct article usage
apply

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rivals.
For instance
, playing a football match is a good example
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
. Audiences will see their competitors are just ordinary
people
like them not dangerous ones. And some patriotic slogans
are not suit
Change the verb form
are not suited
are not suiting

It appears that the form of the verb suit does not work with are in this sentence.

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the real life in the atmosphere of a match.
Thus
,
people
from different nations do not have real
problems
each
Change preposition
with each

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other and
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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events
proof
Replace the word
prove

The word proof doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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it.
Furthermore
, not only
ordinary
Add a missing verb
do ordinary

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citizens get together
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a sporting occasion, politicians can sit together
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the see the same sportive event. After that, their speeches soften at the end of the match. Because they can see two tennis players,
for example
, congratulate themselves, rival swimmers may hug each other after the race or footballers may change their shirts at the end of the match with some tears in their eyes.
Hence
, after these scenes, politicians cannot easily talk very sharp about the other
countries
. To conclude, in my personal view, sporting occasions are very fundamental to calm
people
down, due to these
problems
are not very realistic and they can disappear after a tournament.
Submitted by mp960021 on

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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