Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

#doctors #computer #games #children #people

The problem of

computer

games

was increasing day by day. It has now become more controversial with many doctors are deeming that

computer

games

occur many

problems

among

children

and young humans. There are many

problems

related to

computer

games

that will

further

elaborate with

a possible messages

Correct the article-noun agreement

a possible message

possible messages

show examples

. On one hand, there are myriad

problems

why doctors are concerned about electronic

games

but the

first

and foremost one is that

phiysical

Correct your spelling

physical

activity

are

Change the verb form

show examples

reducing to play too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

computer

games

children

and young would not want to play outdoor

activity

and they prefer to play

video

games

at a place.

As a result

, they become lazy and obesity will be increased due to

decrese

Correct your spelling

decrease

decreased

outdoor

activity

For example

, If young age people are playing

computer

games

rather than outdoor

games

such

as cricket and football, they would invite decease like obesity.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

people who are playing more

video

games

then

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lost a chance to

social

Replace the word

socialise

show examples

This

is because they would spend 8 to 10 hours at a place

that is

because they do not

met

Change the verb form

meet

show examples

new people and

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

try to become

socializ

Correct your spelling

socialized

socialize

social

in their life. Step deal with

problem

Add an article

the problem

a problem

show examples

is not complex to neutralise. The

first

one is that we need some act like under 18 years

children

can not play and make some time

limt

Correct your spelling

limit

on a

computer

as well as in

system

Add an article

the system

show examples

. It would have a chance to reduce not only playing hours but

also

stop becoming addicted to

video

games

A part

Correct your spelling

Apart

show examples

from

another

Replace the adjective

another possibel measure

other possibel measures

show examples

possibel

Correct your spelling

possible

measures is that parents can encourage for outdoor

activity

such

as walking, playing

games

and other.

This

is owing to

children

can learn about

value

Add an article

the value

show examples

phsiyocal

Correct your spelling

physical

activity

. To conclude,

although

the

problems

of electronic

games

are

compler

Correct your spelling

complex

, the

solucation

Correct your spelling

solution

solicitation

of these is

partical

Correct your spelling

partial

practical

and

possibel

Correct your spelling

possible

Change preposition

show examples

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

world. It is helpful for decreasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hours of playing

video

games

Submitted by mp960021 on Fri Dec 10 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

In some countries, there is not enough recycling of waste materials(eg,paper, glass, can). What are the reasons and solutions?

**In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.** **What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** **What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do yhou think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think govt should be responsible. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

The performance of staff can have significant impact on the success of a company What can companies do to increase staff productivity?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?