In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s world, people have significantly changed the way they are currently living right now,
in
which Change preposition
apply
this
could have some affections towards their relationships with their Correct pronoun usage
apply
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
While
this
phenomenon may bring about some drawbacks, I still consider that they are eclipsed by its benefits. This
essay will present the reason for my point of view.
On the one hand, the most negative feature effect of reforming their connection is due to
the use of technologies
. To be more specific, machinery is transforming Fix the agreement mistake
technology
everyday
and some are being used too much, which can reflect on family relationships. Replace the word
every day
For example
, at dinner, where
everyone can talk about what happened in Rephrase
apply
a
day, but if the members keep their attention towards their electronic equipment Correct article usage
the
such
as a phone or the TV, the relationships can become worse. As a result
, the time that the family spends with each other can be reduced, leading to negative impacts. Moreover
, another factor is the unbalanced habit that they are currently having, which is not stabilizing their working
and their free time. Most of them come home very late or skip the night, which can damage Replace the word
work
the
interactions Change the word
their
toward
their family.
Change preposition
with
On the other hand
, despite the minus side mentioned, I am of the opinion that this
trend will bring more positive features. In particular
, some of the family members are changing their form of life in a positive way that makes their body and mind feel relieved. For instance
, they told
their family members to go to the gym or play a sports game in order to get a better form of body or to reduce the amount of stress that they are having. Wrong verb form
tell
Consequently
, their boundaries become shortened, which opens their relationship better and have better conversations. In addition
, one more factor is that at this
time, people now
are more educated, more open to each other and express their emotions and opinions more, which can connect each other better.
In conclusion, weighing up both sides of the argument, I strongly think that the advantages of people's lifestyles Rephrase
apply
are
changing significantly outweigh the disadvantages. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, individuals should modified
their Change the verb form
modify
life
so that they can have a better behavior to enjoy.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by quanghuy.nguyen2098 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more coherently and grouping related points together in each paragraph. Ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the thesis.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed, including identifying both advantages and disadvantages of changing lifestyles and their effects on family relationships. Provide specific and relevant examples to support ideas and explore both positive and negative impacts in more depth.