Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

People

have conflicting views about who is most successful.

While

a number of

people

think that the most successful individuals are those who earn a lot of

money

, I am of the opinion that those who contribute to

society

like scientists and teachers are a bit greater. There are several compelling reasons why

people

believe that making a host of

money

is most fruitful.

Firstly

, some

people

may assert that

money

is the measure of success.

In other words

, the individual is more talented, he is more likely to get a range of achievements and higher income.

Furthermore

, those who have high earnings could

also

contribute to the

economy

and

society

For example

, a good businessman would run his/her company and develop well which results in contributing to GDP, paying more

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the government and creating numerous job opportunities.

However

this

is the case

Change preposition

for

show examples

those who are in business, others mainly contribute personal tax to the

economy

. In spite of these arguments, I hold my belief that the individuals who contribute to

society

succeed more. In my opinion, they could

also

have the aforementioned benefits. Typically, some scientists or teachers would have high earnings

as well as

be a director of a company which benefits the

economy

and

society

. Another key reason which makes these citizens outweigh

people

who make a lot of

money

is that they could have a variety of advantageous influences on a range of social and economic aspects.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teachers play an important role in teaching the next generations the way

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

to live properly and the knowledge which fundamentally

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to develop their careers.

In addition

, scientists create inventions that would stimulate the

economy

and living standards. In conclusion,

while

many

people

think that the individuals who make a lot of

money

are

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

successful, I am still of the opinion that those who contribute to

society

are greater.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Wed Dec 29 2021

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task response

Ensure that you address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a balanced view on both perspectives.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear logical structure throughout the essay to improve coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of advertisements on TV aim at children. What are the effects of television advertising? Should television advertising be controlled?

Nowadays children spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. Why is it happening? Does it have a positive or negative effect on their development?