IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

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Nowadays, individuals tend to
work
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 for several months a year and spend the rest of their
time
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 on leisure things. While others believe that it’s necessary to keep a full-
time
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job
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 to fulfil family needs. To me, both views have their own benefits, in
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic from different perspectives and confirm my own opinion. On one hand, the development of society and the economy has changed in recent decades, individuals have more opportunities to choose their lifestyle.
Firstly
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, some
people
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 are able to
work
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 for a flexible occupation due to the nature of their
job
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 is easy to allocate working
time
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.
For example
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, the self-media owner, who cooperates with the customer to select a product, promotes branding and hosts online sales during peak season, like The Black Friday in west countries, and double eleven shopping festival in China, the high return to self-media KOL allows them to
work
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 for several months a year and release them to enjoy rest of
time
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 for leisure.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 prefer to keep a
work
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-life balance, they lower their desirable for materials to exchange free
time
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 for more care about their health physically and mentally.
Lastly
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, artists tend to teach three days per week in school, the rest of the
time
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 they try different things to light up inspiration, which would support art creation to fulfil dreams.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 not only
work
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 for earning money or fulfil artistic pursuits but
also
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 keep hired for the position based on a sense of responsibility.
For instance
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,
people
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work
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 as doctors, teachers and soldiers, their responsibility indispensably should rate at the highest ranking in society since they are saving a life, educating children and protecting the residents of the country.
Furthermore
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, full employment is suitable for
people
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 who get married with kids, a stable income by full-
time
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job
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 is important for a family to buy nutritious food or promote study skills for kids. In conclusion, both of those choices have their own reasons and contribute the same to society, human is free to make their decision upon on for themselves, what kind of
job
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 type they prefer.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
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