Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important today. Is the attitude to wearing fashionalble clothes leading to a positve development or negative development?

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People

Use synonyms

give more priority to wearing trendy

clothes

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay agrees that the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

trend is a negative development.

This

Linking Words

essay will

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

first

Linking Words

discuss that in order to purchase fashionable

clothes

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individuals spend a lion's portion of their salary and

further

Linking Words

, outline that trendy

clothes

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are too revealing and difficult to carry. It is clear that

people

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, in order to remain up to date will spend an indiscriminate amount of their salaries

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show examples

buying these fashionable

clothes

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This

Linking Words

is to say,

people

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will spend their

hard earned

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hard-earned

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income without thinking and

thus

Linking Words

will not have enough money left for savings or investing in profitable schemes.

As a result

Linking Words

, their future will be uncertain. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that more than 80

percent

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per cent

show examples

people

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spend 65 to 70

percent

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per cent

show examples

of their salary

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show examples

buying trendy

clothes

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from showrooms. Apart from

this

Linking Words

, the fashionable

clothes

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worn by movie actors and models are not only too

reveling

Correct your spelling

revealing

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but very difficult to carry which is not possible for common

people

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In other words

Linking Words

, it is not possible for normal

people

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wear

Add the particle

to wear

show examples

such

Linking Words

clothes

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for functions or parties and

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

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feel uncomfortable when wearing

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

public. As a consequence, despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

purchasing expensive dresses, because of lack of comfort they are stored in their wardrobes. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

people

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do not feel comfortable when wearing trendy

clothes

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. To conclude, fashionable

clothes

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are becoming very popular among

people

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However

Linking Words

, the trend has drawbacks as

people

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spend a large portion of their income

Change preposition

show examples

purchasing

clothes

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and they do not feel comfortable

Change preposition

apply

show examples

wearing revealing

clothes

Use synonyms

Toni R

May 6, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important today. Is the attitude to wearing fashionalble clothes leading to a positve development or negative development?

Some people say that it is. A waste of time to learn literature such as a novel and poems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic What are the advantages and disadvantages for locals who visit such places?