IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

#students #school #money
In
this
 day and age, there is a widely held perception in many parts of the world that students graduating from high school are lacking knowledge and skills in personal money management. While the trend has caused some problems, some of the ways could be considered in addressing these issues.
To begin
 with, there are some evident justifications for the potential of wrongly handling payments from students. Perhaps the main cause is that schools have engaged the curriculum with only major academic subjects
such
 as mathematics or science.
For instance
, to get the best result in the university entrance exam, Vietnamese pupils have been forced to focus on these subjects
instead
 of learning professional ones
such
 as accounting or financial management. Beyond that, another factor leading to
this
 situation is the insufficient guidance from parents.
As a result
, children are not allowed to learn how to spend money effectively from the
first
 hall - the home, which might result in squandering cash on unproductive materialistic things. Notwithstanding, several feasible solutions can be implemented to remedy the aforementioned issues. One way to tackle
this
 is that financial management courses should be included as compulsory subjects for high school learners. Doing
this
 may help them invest their money diligently rather than reckless spending. Another method of dealing with its repercussions is that campaigns raising students' awareness about the importance of suitable investment should be intensified. These projects would hopefully allow children to understand the significance of a wise independent financial situation, from which they are likely to become successful investors in the future. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe that
although
 there are several factors causing a lack of financial knowledge for high school leavers, some viable solutions can be used to tackle its related issues.
Submitted by haidtk13.tbc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: