Some people think that the internet has brought people together while others think that people have become more isolated now.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A section of society holds a belief that the
internet
can unite others and
this
medium has a plethora of benefits for folks. In my perspective, the
internet
allows
people
to interact regularly
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
virtual
Change the word
virtually
show examples
, chiefly those who are distant from each other. To commence with, social media is one of the platforms being widely used by individuals recently to communicate every single day.
For instance
,
people
can just click the screen on the phone
instead
of meeting
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
.
to begin
their conversation.
Therefore
, nowadays, numerous devices are able to surf the
internet
as it is one of the vital mediums for exchanging communications. Research has been done on
this
matter, of particular note is that almost 99% of
people
use the
internet
on a basic routine reported by the well-known newspaper, daily time. Looking at the proportion, it is crystal clear
indicating
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
internet
usage has been normalized among
people
.
On the other hand
, some might say that
people
are more likely will have
social-barriers
Correct your spelling
social barriers
show examples
issues. To exemplify that, children nowadays obsess with their digital devices until
skipping
Wrong verb form
they skip
show examples
their meals.
Thus
,
people
cannot turn a blind eye to
this
matter as it is nothing vital at all. The prominent point is that it is not a crime to use the
internet
daily but one has to know the scarce to avert something worse happening.
For instance
, these kinds of habits will lead to isolating themselves for 24 hours in the room in their leisure,
whereas
those times can be used to spend with their family. In conclusion, there is a demerit
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
using the
internet
as our routine daily,
nonetheless
Add a comma
nonetheless,
show examples
it cannot be denied that the
internet
also
has its own merit. I think the folks should scarce their
internet
usage if it has to.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The response addresses the prompt but lacks in-depth analysis and development, resulting in a superficial treatment of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks coherence and cohesion, leading to disjointed and unclear presentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: