The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, the shopping centres are easily accessible, as there is development in terms of city malls. The younger generation is more interested in shopping than doing other activities. I agree that
this
trend can affect them as well as society in a negative way.
First
of all, spending leisure
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping is a dead investment, which can result in losing money.
Although
the money lost belongs to their parents, the kids may fail to learn the value of wealth, especially, if they are allowed to shop freely.
Additionally
, allowing the youngsters to develop a habit of seeking entertainment in expenditure may expose them to dark social aspects
such
as cyber crimes.
For example
, those who play online games regularly might link their credit cards to their gaming account, which makes
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
for them
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
the premium features of the game;
however
, it may provide access to hackers to steal the amount in
user's
Correct article usage
the user's
show examples
banking account.
Furthermore
, if the free
time
is used in learning life or job
skills
, they may develop new abilities, which improve their CV and may help them to earn a better job. Meanwhile, these
skills
help an individual to improve their personalities.
For instance
, Narendra Modi, who is the current prime minister of India, had a huge change in his social view after he started reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books, which are related to
Correct your spelling
reformation
reformatiom
Correct article usage
the reformatiom
show examples
of society.
Therefore
, it is always good to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving
skills
and one's personality rather than seeking fun in procurement. In my opinion, it is not advisable for young people to waste their free
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping.
Instead
, they should focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
utilising
utilizing
uitilising
Correct your spelling
utilising
the valuable
time
to attain better
skills
and character in order to be a refined person in society, which could benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an individual as well as
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Submitted by rajkumarmvn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • shopping centre
  • negative influences
  • trend
  • materialism
  • consumer culture
  • impulsive buying
  • financial strain
  • exposure
  • physical activity
  • social interactions
  • small businesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: