Some people who have been in prison becomes good citizens later,and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to tenagers about the dangers of committing a crime .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #tenagers #dangers #crime

A section of society opines that Ex-convicts become law-abiding

citizens

after being released from

the

Change the word

their

show examples

cells.

However

,people believe these are the people to advise adolescents about the consequences of committing an offence.I totally agree because it will help

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

abide by the laws and

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

reduce crime rates.

This

essay will explain the reasons for my stance

as well as

examples in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with,one primary reason for prisoners advising the young generation is to reduce the number of crimes.When a prisoner talks to them about

demerits

Correct article usage

the demerits

show examples

of prison-like difficulty looking for jobs because no company employs a worker who has been in prison before.Their employment opportunities are very difficult.

For instance

,a recent survey states that 99 per cent of prisoners are unemployed.

This

will help them not to commit an offence.

Hence

reducing the rate of crime in society.

Secondly

,another reason for ex-convicts to advise youngsters is it will help them to be law-abiding

citizens

.Breaking rules and regulations

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

an individual to serve a penalty like death or pay a fine.,Meanwhile

citizens

fear dying so they will not commit a crime.The inhabitants will not break the law because of the negative effect an offence will have on them based on the education given to them.

Although

the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

will benefit,youngsters will benefit more.

For example

,following the law prevents

citizens

from capital punishment

such

as death. In conclusion,

this

essay

argued

Wrong verb form

argues

show examples

that education for people who have been in prison is the best solution to serve as a deterrent to the youth.I totally believe it will help reduce the proportion of offences and

citizens

will abide by the law.

Submitted by agozie2018 on Sun Jul 31 2022

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task response

Provide a more thorough and structured response to the essay question. Address all aspects of the topic and ensure that the examples provided are relevant and specific to the points being made.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and consistent organizational structure. Ensure the introduction clearly presents the argument and that all paragraphs have a logical and evident connection. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and support the flow of the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.