Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

#people #success #measure #intelligence

It is commonly believed that victory is the finest estimation of intellect.

On the other hand

, certain people state that there are various other alternatives to

compute

Wrong verb form

computing

show examples

intelligence despite achievement.

However

, in my opinion, skill is not

bounded

Verb problem

bound

show examples

to success, there are numerous techniques to prove brilliance. To commence with, the primary factor endorsing cleverness is behaviour. Achieving goals does not define one's smartness rather, our attitude afterwards represents our sharpness. Assisting and motivating others, respecting them and selflessness after attaining goals measure one's acumen.

Additionally

, maintaining relationships with near and dear ones and supporting them to progress and elevate their lifestyle counts

also

for an individual's smartness.

For instance

, famous entrepreneur, Dhirubhai Ambani, donates 15% of his profit to various NGOs every year.

Hence

, utilizing the capabilities to benefit the needy is the true evaluation of brilliance. Another point to be considered is that staying connected to our rooted values and morals

also

determines our talent. It is difficult to manage affluence considering our principal ethics. Somehow, corruption enters the process.

Nonetheless

, to avoid the entrance of dishonesty and sticking to the source standards decides our rationality.

For instance

, several rich people bribe traffic policemen so that they can be excused from any police investigation concerning their

misdeed

Fix the agreement mistake

misdeeds

show examples

Thus

, handling the situation wisely without hurting anyone or breaking any rule describes our intuitiveness.

To conclude

, victory is not the only assessment for intellectual prosperity, there are different other elements that count.

Therefore

it is clear that

intelligence is independent of success since success is temporary but intelligence is permanent.

Submitted by riyachawla203 on Mon Sep 26 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a good use of examples to support the main points made. However, the introduction and conclusion are not well developed. Work on providing a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the task and presents comprehensive ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the development of the introduction and conclusion to fully address the task.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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