Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the current era, many advertisements are dedicated to the young audience.

While

some people think that these commercials should be banned for having a negative impact on children, others don't share the same opinion.

This

essay will discuss in the following paragraphs the arguments on why I definitely agree with the fact that these advertisements cause harm to the youth and should be restricted. On one hand, TV commercials should not be aimed at children because they are easily influenced by external factors and are not able to distinguish between right and wrong. Advertising can contain violence and abuse, impacting negatively the kids,

therefore

causing psychological damage to their immature brains. To illustrate

this

, I've read social research conducted by an American university that proved the negative impact of violence on kids and

proved

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that it can cause some serious damage and harm in the long term.

Thus

, youth should be kept away from these types of promotions.

Moreover

, the young audience is easily distracted by the colours and graphs when an advertisement is aimed particularly at them. These latest are designed to be captivating to keep their attention, and

consequently

can distract them from their studies which leads to poor academic results.

Furthermore

, some products can cause harm to children's health,

such

as fast food commercials, which increase the youth's desire to consume them and

impacts

Correct subject-verb agreement

impact

show examples

them negatively by causing obesity and cardiovascular problems. To summarize, I personally agree with the fact that advertisements can have a negative impact on the young population and that kids should stay away from televisions and social media until they reach an age when they are mature enough to make their own grown-up decisions.

Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on Thu Oct 06 2022

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task response

Provide a clear opinion on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Use clear supporting examples for your arguments. Make sure to structure your essay with a strong introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Use linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas and make the progression of your argument clear.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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