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Band 6.5

Some people think that watching TV causes weight problems in children. Do you agree with this view? What solution you can suggest to tackle children’s weight problem?

#people #tv #weight #children #children’s
It is an overall view think that staring many hours at the tv could be a consequence of obesity and other
weight
 issues in kids. In
this
 essay I will clear my point of view, writing if I agree or disagree with
this
 affirmation and I will look for some solution to the problem of
weight
 control. We are living in a highly industrialized society, where machinery is an extended part of our daily life. Children start very early to know how to use technological dispositive.
For example
, it is no anymore rare, to find kids of 4-5 years staring at the front of their parent’s telephone, watching YouTube. In my point of view, I can say that I’m firmly convinced that machinery and Tv could represent a complication with a child’s
weight
. In fact, more often parents leave scion playing with their phones, to have some moment for themselves, forgetting to teach them how to play and have fun without television or computer or telephone, just because leaving them to play with machinery
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a faster method to make them distracted and calm. As a consequence, child pass a lot of hours in front of a screen, without moving but just watching them and possibly eating food without regulation, which is a primary cause of
this
weight
 complication. I will now illustrate some quick
fix
Fix the agreement mistake
fixes
show examples
 to
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, I think that a possible explanation could be having some moments to teach
heir
Correct your spelling
her
show examples
 how to have fun without stay glue to automation,
hence
 bringing them to the park, and making them socialize with the other kids.It is important for parents, to find time for their own offspring’s education. Another possible quick fix, taking children away from television, is subscribing them to some gym activity,
such
 as swimming.
In addition
, I believe that the issue should be addressed even by the government, which should prompt more activities on the territory and put some restrictions on eating fast food under a certain age. To conclude, I think that with these solutions that I brought up, the complication of
weight
 could be limited.
Submitted by frinfri93 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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