In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?

People who live in different countries tend to have different desires when it comes to housing.
Accordingly
, the relevance of buying a property and renting can vary. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will explain why owning a home in some countries can be preferable in comparison to
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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renting and give my opinion on why its importance depends on the countries’ policy and people’s desire and financial capacity. Some countries which have large surface area per capita like Sweden and Russia usually encourage owning property. Because the population number in comparison to the land is very few, It is easier and more convenient for families to have their own apartments.
And the
Correct word choice
The
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government usually encourages
this
act so as to make the country habitable and use the land efficiently to collect tax as much as possible.
For instance
,
last
year the Swedish government
introduces
Wrong verb form
introduced
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a house payment structure that allows people to own a condo and slowly complete the full payment in 6 years.
In addition
, communities who live in regions like India
also
prefer to live in their own houses but for a different reason. As a culture, the Indian population
like
Replace the word
likes
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to live
together with
their family members which usually consists of more than one household. And obviously living in a rented mansion with a
such
large number of family members isn’t convenient. On top of that, It can be financially prohibitive as it necessitates paying a rental fee every month for each home.
To sum up
, I believe having a house and renting one shouldn’t be seen as something positive or negative. It usually depends on the desire of the population and the nature of the country’s demography.
Submitted by donotendupatmcdonalds97 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer and more specific examples and explanations to support your points. Structure your essay with a clearer introduction and conclusion, and ensure that your ideas flow more clearly between paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well and provided clear, comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic. However, consider providing a more balanced view by exploring both positive and negative aspects of owning a home rather than renting one.
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